As a professional Etiquette Coach, I feel compelled to share a reflection that speaks to the heart of ethical conduct in our industry. Recently, I’ve encountered individuals—fellow professionals, no less—who disguise themselves as potential clients or instruct others to do so, with the sole intention of extracting pricing and service information. These so-called “mystery shoppers” are not seeking service; they are seeking leverage.
What troubles me most is that some of these individuals present themselves publicly as champions of integrity, while privately engaging in behaviour that contradicts the very values they claim to uphold. If you are encouraging your students or team members to do this, please pause and reflect: Are you nurturing professionals, or are you inadvertently training a generation to normalize deceit?
Let’s be clear! This behaviour is not clever, strategic, or justified by competition. It is unethical, unprofessional, and unbecoming of any industry leader. No excuse! Whether for price comparison, market research, or benchmarking; can you justify deceit when done under false pretenses. Civility begins with honesty, and ethical leadership starts with transparency.
To those engaging in such tactics, ask yourself: Why not focus that energy on improving your craft? Use your time to develop your identity, hone your delivery, refine your communication, and strengthen your credentials. Personal and professional growth cannot be outsourced or copied. It must be earned through dedication, not deception!
Healthy competition is built on authenticity, not imitation. Even if your goal is to compare prices, understand that what works for one may not work for another. Presentation style, methods, character, experience, and even audience engagement—all these elements matter deeply in the service industry.
My sincere advice: find your own ground. Be proud of your merits. Shape a career that reflects your values and brings you fulfillment. Your happiness and success should never hinge on someone else’s pricing model or business structure. Mind your own “business,” literally and figuratively.
I’m always open to sharing knowledge and insight when I’m approached with sincerity and respect. The industry thrives when we lift each other up honestly, not when we hide behind false names and phone numbers.
If you’ve ever participated in this kind of behaviour, knowingly or unknowingly, I urge you to reflect, reset, and realign with ethical values. There’s always time to choose integrity.
To be clear, we will not entertain or dignify unethical tactics. Disguising yourself to gain information is a cowardly act in a profession that demands courage, confidence, and character. What a shameful act!
Let’s do better. Let’s model what we teach. Promote civility. Uphold ethics. And put a firm stop to the age of the “Mystery Ugly Shopper.”